


Through Thick and Thin

by The_True_Potato



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra kidnaps peter parker, M/M, Mind Control, Night Terrors, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-05-28 14:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_True_Potato/pseuds/The_True_Potato
Summary: [SET AFTER INFINITY WAR]Peter Parker opens up to the Avengers once Thanos is defeated. They were less than happy to find out that a fifteen year old was running around trying to save the world. But nonetheless, he is a part of the team now. However, it's not under the circumstances he would've liked. His Aunt had died before she could even know who he was, and with no where left to go, he had no choice but to join the Avengers. And that itself painted a target on his back, and he finds himself only able to rely on one person. Bucky Barnes.Peter's life gets better, for a short while, but all good things come to an end.





	1. PROLOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prologue to everything in this crazy story.

{PROLOGUE}  

It was happening again, and he knew it was a dream. But a part of him refused to believe otherwise. He could feel every piece of him breaking apart, turning into _dust_. His breath was betraying him, he wanted to seem strong in his last moments, but he could only hiccup and cry. He knew that it was impossible to help him, but he still cried out for help. He didn't want to go, not like this. He had so much life left to live.

They only watched, and he knew it wasn’t them, but he felt betrayed. The Avengers, everyone of them were watching, _laughing,_ as he disintegrated into oblivion. They didn't care, they didn’t want a child, they wanted a soldier, one who wasn't afraid of death. A child prodigy, tough as stone, emotionless, everything he wasn't.

But even in his last moments he was very selfish. He wanted to _LIVE_ , to breathe, to hold May. But he didn’t want the Avengers to hate him. And right now, they were disgusted, at a child who wasn’t going to live another day. They were laughing, walking away, not caring to watch his final moments. It was his fault, his fault, his fault, _always his fault._

He could feel himself being torn apart, quite literally. It’s not real, he assured himself,  but the way the Avengers abandoned  him, felt too real. He was back on Titan, the air crisp and thin as he took his last breaths. 

It’s not real 

It’s not real 

It’s not real 

It’s not real 

It’s not 

It’s not 

**_It’s real_ **

 

A scream burst through his disappearing lips, begging for the Avengers to come back for him. But they didn’t look back at his small form. Because they didn’t want him on their team. He wasn’t a hero, he was a monster, a genetically modified monster who belongs in a cell. Locked up. Experimented on.

It was so painful, he could feel himself tearing apart. His screams only intensified when his heart started to vanish, he was hollow, a shattered shell. He was screaming, shouting, crying, he couldn’t breathe. Because he didn’t have any lungs. 

He was disappearing 

Disappearing 

Disappearing  

Gone.

* * *

 

He shot up, still screaming and crying. He was disappearing! No one was here. He scrambled out of bed, hitting the floor loudly, while letting out a cry. 

He couldn’t walk because his legs weren’t there,  they had disappeared. And he was alone, again. He thrashed around, trying to untangle himself from the blankets. He was melting, it was so hot. 

His screams got louder, and he couldn’t hear the pounding on his door. He couldn’t even hear his own heart.  

“Breathe, kid, just breathe. In, out, follow me. One two, listen to me." 

But how could he listen if he didn't have ears? How could he breathe if he didn't have lungs? The voice kept repeating, for him to breathe and listen. 

He tried, he really was trying. Because he didn't want to turn to dust again, to look Mr. Stark in the eye and start to flutter away. 

Mr. Stark? That's right, he came back, he's not dust anymore. He saw Mr. Stark again, he wasn't dead. He was whole again. Mr. Stark had waited patiently for him, he can't disappear again. 

So, he listened to the man, in out, one two, just breathe. He greedily tried to steal as much air as possible. He could hear his heart beating at such a fast pace it could explode, he could feel his legs, arms, everything. He wasn't gone, he wasn't dust. 

"That's it kid. I've got you." 

Through blurred eyes he looked up at the man who was helping him. He was not surprised to find himself looking the Winter Soldier in the eyes, although he preferred being called Bucky. If Bucky was in a good mood he'd let Peter call him Buck, but only Peter, not even Cap could call him Buck. 

Him and Bucky grew closer once they had been brought back to life and defeated Thanos. Bucky had dealt with much worse pain, he said it himself, that being the Winter Soldier was worse than dying.  

But Peter, he had never experienced so much pain since Ben died. He saw Ben, on the other side of life, urging him to join his dead family. But he knew it was a trick, Ben would never want him to die. So, he fought to live, looked his Uncle in the eye and had turned away. And that was more painful than anything. 

Soon after defeating Thanos and restoring the world to its former glory, his aunt died in a car accident. Of course, she had to die in a car accident, she could survive the world being destroyed, but not a drunk driver. And it was his fault, just like with Ben. 

And of course, Peter blamed himself. Spider-man had time to stop bike thefts, give old ladies directions, save the world. But he couldn't stop one car accident that destroyed his world. 

And then came the night terrors, he would see his Aunt screaming at him saying it was his fault. He could hear his Uncle muttering betrayal. Then he started feeling himself turn to dust all over again. 

Peter had officially joined the Avengers, but he had chosen to live on his own. No one knew his aunt was dead, and child services didn't care about him. So, he lived alone, no- not alone, he lived with grief.  

He was patrolling one night, and then he collapsed and couldn't get up again. He had stayed up nights on end and didn't eat. His body couldn't handle it, and he just collapsed in an alley. The suit alerted Tony, and he came for Peter. 

Peter was safe. 

But even though he was living with the Avengers, he was a lonely mess. Until he found Bucky, or Bucky found him. 

Bucky knew what Peter was going through, and somehow grew protective of Peter. They relished in each other's company. And to be frank, Peter had obvious separation issues, Bucky didn't hate him for that, he understood Peter. So, the two became inseparable.  

That's how he ended up in Bucky's arms, struggling to breathe after a night terror. He clung to the older man like his life depended on it. And Bucky didn't mind. 

"That's right kid, one two, with me." 

He leaned his head against Bucky's chest, listening to his heart beat, just to make sure he really was here. He synced his breath with Bucky's, he forced his tears not to spill. He was an Avenger, that meant when he was on a mission, he needed to be in best conditions. 

"I'm sorry Bucky, that's the fifth time this week." 

He lowered his head in shame and embarrassment. He had shown his weak side to Bucky too many times. Bucky lightly lifted his chin, so that they held eye contact. 

"Never say that again kid. I'm here for you through thick and thin." 

Bucky cracked a small smile and Peter felt his heart glower. When he was with Bucky, he felt safer and calmer. Together, he reminded himself, 

Through thick and thin. 

 

 

If only he knew how thick things were going to get. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll be your friend  
> Your other brother  
> Another love to come and comfort you  
> And I'll keep reminding  
> If it's the only thing I ever do  
> I will always love  
> I will always love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!! Tried to make it more fluffy than before!!! Thanks for reading!

{CHAPTER 1} 

"Pete? Kid, you gotta wake up now." 

Peter mumbled out incoherent words and turned his face to the other side while snuggling in to the warmth. He just wanted to shrink into the warmth that surrounded him. It was so comforting to just lay there, in his own thoughts. 

Someone began to shake him awake, his dreams faded away and he was fully awake. But he kept his eyes closed, just to bother the person. The shaking grew harder, he couldn't keep a smile off his face imagining how frustrated the person must be. 

"Okay Pete, you gave me no choice." 

Bucky's husky voice resonated deep within his soul. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he loved the sound of Bucky's voice. He practically melted into Bucky, not knowing that a person could provide such warmth. 

Bucky placed his hands-on Peter's sides. Peter knew immediately what was going to happen, but he couldn't retract quick enough. 

Bucky began tickling Peter with no mercy. Laughter danced throughout the room as Peter wiggled to get away from Bucky. This was a great way to be woken up. 

"I'm awake!!!" 

Peter squealed out as he tried to crawl away from Bucky. He wiped the stray tears away from his laughter. He stretched out his back, listening to each vertebra let out a crack. Bucky eyed him curiously, or maybe he was eyeing the bags that had developed under Peter's eyes. 

Peter turned red when he realized that once again, he had a night terror, and Bucky was there for him, and he fell asleep on the floor. He was more or less used to the night terrors, but he wasn't used to the comfort. 

Bucky laughed at Peter's face before standing up and stretching the same way Peter did. No one else would see Bucky this vulnerable, no one except Peter. Bucky even acted tough in front of Cap. But with Peter, Bucky was a soft cinnamon roll. 

"Breakfast is ready. Cap made pancakes, a lot of pancakes." 

Bucky didn't question how Peter had been getting skinnier, or how he has dark eye-bags, or even how he stays out longer on patrol than usual. 

Bucky just quietly helped, ordering take-out, forcing him to nap, hiding his suit. Peter appreciated that about Bucky, it was difficult when Mr. Stark practically interrogated him a few days previous. He was glad that Mr. Stark cared for him, but he needed space, and time.

Peter's stomach grumbled as if it was on que. Cap's pancakes were the best, sometimes Peter wondered how Cap came up with such a good recipe. But nobody ever asked about Cap's past, so Peter didn't. It was a thing within the team, don't know, don't see others asking, don't ask. He liked it that way.

Peter glanced out his window, watching the sun beam down on the city. He hummed to himself, wondering what it'd be like to be in space watching the sun rise on Earth. It must be the most beautiful sight. His breath hitched as he thought of Titan. He shook his head, and thought of all the stars in space.

Bucky watched Peter with close eyes, he saw every bit of Steve in Peter. At first it scared him, how open he became with Peter, but slowly they folded into each other. Peter was like a mini Steve, willing to sacrifice himself for anyone else. Heck, this kid turned to dust, just to try and save the world. 

Bucky would do anything for this kid, he's pretty sure everyone would do anything for this kid. Peter had something about him, it just made you feel better. Even just standing beside Peter, you feel better. 

"Are you coming Buck?" 

Peter called out from the doorway, ready to go devour Cap's pancakes. Bucky hadn't even noticed that Peter moved, he was lost in his own world. Peter was different, always willing to help others, even though he himself was falling. _Just like Steve._  

Bucky swallowed his thoughts and nodded at Peter. If he thought too much about Peter, he grew more protective. Stark may be his father figure, but Bucky was like an older brother. 

Peter bounced out of the room, heading off to the kitchen to go eat breakfast. Bucky's feet followed in unison, the smile on his face did not falter. This kid brought out the best in everyone. 

They entered the kitchen, Peter practically drooling at the scent of Cap's pancakes. Everyone looked up, saying their own good Mornings. No one asked why Peter and Bucky were always together, and Bucky was glad for that, he didn't want to look like he was getting soft. 

The only one who noticed Bucky relaxing more, and sticking around the kid, was Natasha. Of course, she would notice, but it didn't bother Bucky for some reason. He had the right to grow close with the kid, and if anyone tried to separate them, they'd have to go through the Winter Soldier. 

"Woah slow down, you're inhaling those pancakes." 

Clint laughed at Peter, who had eaten four pancakes in the limit of three minutes. Peter turned red again and ate slower.  

Bucky sent a glare at Clint, even though Clint meant no harm. But Clint was Clint, and he just laughed at Bucky. 

Bucky began to eat his own pancakes, no lie, they were absolutely delicious. No one could ever find anything wrong with Cap's cooking, they all wondered where he got his talent from. Bucky knew where most of his recipes came from, but it wasn't his right to share.

Bucky watched Cap closely, he was not some scrawny kid anymore. He was a warrior, a hero, and sometimes Bucky had to remind himself that. He couldn't care for Cap anymore, Cap could defend himself now. At least Bucky still had memories from when he would defend Cap from the bullies. And he wanted to do the same for Peter. 

Bucky finished his second pancake, deciding that's all he could stomach. Peter finished his seventh pancake, Peter needed to eat more than anyone due to his fast metabolism. Bucky was glad that the kid was eating again, Peter had almost starved himself when he came back from dust. 

Peter glanced up and made eye contact with Bucky. He smiled at Bucky, and Bucky smiled back. Natasha looked at the two, back and forth. 

"Peter, train with me now." 

Peter snapped his attention to Natasha, he was a bit shocked that THE Black Widow would ask him to train with her. Since becoming an Avenger, Peter had just blended into the background, and he liked it that way. 

Peter, speechless, nodded with wide eyes. This would be very beneficial for him. He looked over at Bucky, who was watching Natasha with a glint in his eyes. Peter's heart suddenly beat a bit faster, he didn't want to be alone. What if he was alone and turned to dust? 

"Sure, bring him too." 

Natasha answered his unspoken question, if he could bring Bucky. In truth, she just wanted to see what this kids' limits were, she did not care if Bucky came along. 

Peter smiled again, happy that he wouldn't be alone. Even though he was here, flesh and blood, he feared turning into dust. He knows that Thanos is gone, but in his dreams, his re-lives the events over and over. And Bucky, is always there. 

But what if Bucky doesn't want to be around him? What if Bucky has better things to do? Nerves grew in his stomach, what if Bucky was sick of him? What if what if what if...

"Ummm, Bucky? Would you care to come with me?" 

Bucky looked at the kid like he had just said the most ridiculous thing, peter's stomach dropped. His fault his fault his fault. Nobody wants a fucked up, mutated little shit-  

"If-if you don't want to......" 

Bucky ruffled Peters hair and let out a breathy laugh. 

"Pete, you didn't have to ask. I'm never leaving you, never. I'll always be with you, 

Through the laughs, through the tears." 

 

Through the laughs, through the tears. 

 

 

 

If only they knew how many tears would be shed. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it was short!


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want to make the world a better place  
> Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
> 
>  
> 
> And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you'll dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not as fluffy as the last chapter. Thank you so much for reading!!!

{Chapter 2} 

Peter trained with Natasha, he trained harder than he had ever trained before. She was very skilled, she was fast, strong, and agile, but he was faster, stronger and more agile. His enhancement was the only reason he could beat Natasha. But he still got his ass kicked.

Throughout the training, he tried not to use his 100% strength, because what if Peter Parker needed to defend himself, not Spider man? He needed to learn how to control his strength otherwise he risked exposing himself as an enhanced human. 

Bucky joined in at some point, while Natasha took a break. Peter lost track of time, everything was blending in, his memories were jumbled. He could hear everything, everything. Bucky's heart was beating fast and his breath was irregular, but Peter hadn’t broken sweat yet. 

In truth, sometimes Peter didn't like that he was enhanced. He felt isolated, like half the time he was pretending to be someone else. At school he had to pretend to be weak, at home he had to pretend to be OK, on patrol he had to pretend to be strong. 

Pretending, is that the only thing he could do? He wanted to be more! He wanted to just be Peter! But he couldn't, it was his responsibility to help people. He couldn't sit around and let people get hurt when he's strong enough to help. 

Bucky threw a punch at Peter, and he caught it without batting an eye. His body took over and he blanked out for a moment. He twisted Bucky's arm, spun around and kicked his back. Bucky tried to trip Peter with his legs, but Peter reversed the move and slammed Bucky's face into his knee. 

"Stop! That's enough." 

Natasha stood up from where she was sitting, watching the two closely. She had never expected Peter to be this strong, she should've worked him harder, it was obvious to her that he had been holding back. 

Bucky laughed as he wiped some blood off his face, his nose was bleeding, and that seemed to be the only injury. Bucky let out a few heavy breaths and laid down on the floor. Guilt built in Peter's stomach as he watched Bucky wipe his nose, control is what matters, he lost control. His fault, his fault, his fault.

Suddenly the walls came closer and there seemed to be no air. Bucky wasn't lying on the floor; Uncle Ben was lying on the floor. And it was Peters' fault, it always was Peters' fault. Even Uncle Ben had said it was his fault. His fault, his fault. Always his fault. 

Peter backed up, gasping for breath. Bucky knew something was wrong and stood up quickly, Natasha did the same and slowly approached the two. They didn't understand what had triggered Peter, one minute he was fine, the next he was having a small panic attack. 

Natasha's heart broke for this poor boy, he was too young to experience the things he has experienced. He was broken, and they were desperately trying to glue him back together again. 

"Woah, Pete, I'm OK. See? I'm fine." 

Bucky twirled, letting Peter know that he wasn't in pain. It was just a nosebleed. But it felt like more, it felt like he was disappearing again. He was turning to dust, he didn't want to be alone. Not again!

Peter shakily tried to breathe, all while backing up from them. He felt bad that he was seeming so rude, but if they got close they'll die. Everyone he loves dies. Aunt May....... oh, Aunt May, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to die. He did.

Peter stumbled back from them. Natasha had wide eyes, it was the first time she had seen the kid act this way. Bucky was slowly approaching Peter while muttering that he was fine and that it was going to be OK. 

But it wasn't going to be OK. Peter wasn't dumb, he turned to dust, he wasn't going to be OK, he had problems. He'll never be OK again, he'll be close to OK, he'll look OK, he'll never be OK, he'll be just fine, not OK, not great. 

Peter turned and ran out of the training room, hoping to find somewhere he can be sad alone. He knew he wasn't supposed to run from his problems, but he wasn't brave enough to face his problems. He just wanted to be free again, to be happy.  

He was still getting used to this place, and ended up just running wherever, not really sure where he was going. He just wanted to get away, from everything. He wanted May, and Ben.

Peter took a turn and ran straight into a wall. He stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, landing on his butt. His hands were shaking and his vision was blurred by thick tears. 

"Are you OK? You look pale." 

The wall began asking him a few questions. The wall with a star on it. A star on it?! It wasn't a wall it was Cap! 

Peter shook his head and tried to crawl backwards. The wall wasn't a wall, it was a super human, it was Captain America. The brave, strong Captain America. Peter didn't want to seem childish in front of THE Captain America. 

Cap frowned at Peters' shaking form and crouched down to his height. Peter flinched, but this time he did not crawl away. Peter told himself that he wanted to be alone, but he didn't. He wanted someone to comfort him, to say it'll be OK. 

Peter looked away, ashamed that Cap was seeing him like this. He wanted to be tough, just like Cap. But he was weak, and he couldn't handle dying. Bucky died, and he was OK. Strange died, and he was OK. T'Challa died, and he was OK as well.  

Peter cursed his heart, wishing that it was emotionless. He shouldn't be thinking of the death of his uncle, that was many years ago. He was supposed to move on. 

"Talk to me Peter. You're not OK. It'll help when you get it off your chest." 

Peter hesitated, he would seem weak to talk about something that happened many years ago. But he knew it would help him. And he could trust Cap to not go and blabber about it to everyone. 

So, he talked. He talked about everything, growing up with no parents because they had died. His Aunt and Uncle had taken him in at such a young age. He grew up loving them like they were his parents. And then his Uncle got shot, and he could've stopped it. If he didn't argue with his Uncle, then his Uncle wouldn't have been alone, and he wouldn't have died. He explained how he felt responsible for his Uncle's death. He said he was training, and saw Ben in Bucky and freaked out, like a child. He said he was scared of dying again. 

He finished his little speech, with tears threatening to fall from his lashes. Cap was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Peter wondered if he had talked too much, he felt a bit guilty again. He was known for rambling, but he could never stop once he started talking. His fault, his fault, his fault.

"You could stop, you know. Spider man can take a break." 

Cap looked him straight in the eye, watching Peters expression. Peter thought about it, but no. The world needed Spider man. He needed Spider man. 

"No. With great power comes great responsibility. This is my responsibility. Besides, who'll look out for the little guy." 

Cap laughed and ruffled his hair. His heart ached for Peter, he had once been Peter. He now understands why Bucky likes Peter so much. Peter put everyone else before himself, one life gone was worth many lives saved. 

"You're right. And don't worry, you have us. You'll always be safe" 

Always be safe. 

 

 

 

 

 

If only they knew how much danger lay ahead. 

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cursed with sorrow pain and woe  
> Full of feelings I can't show  
> Hopeless love what else for me  
> Is this my destiny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no more ominous endings, I promise. But I can't promise that it won't get dark.

{Chapter 3} 

Peter pressed his pale hand against the window, enjoying the coolness that flowed from the window to his fingertips. The rain was falling from the sky, never getting lighter but never pouring harder. It was somehow soothing, to know that something could be so stable. 

Peter knew trouble was coming, he could feel it from miles away. He just didn't know when it would be coming, and what it would be. He just knew that something bad was going to happen, and he didn't want to be alone. Like on Titan.

His Spidey senses were off the rocket, screaming at him to run and hide. But he couldn't, because when trouble came, he had to defend the people at all cost. Not everyone is meant to make a difference. But for him, the choice to lead an ordinary life is no longer an option. He cannot hide anymore, he has to fight, for the people. 

It'll be hard for him, he knows that. Fifteen-year old's aren't supposed to be running around saving people, they're supposed to be enjoying themselves. But this was his choice, it's his gift-his curse, and it's too late to turn back now. 

A hand rested on his shoulder, he knew the person had been watching him, _Bucky_. And having just that one hand support him was enough, because he's Peter Parker, and Peter Parker is stronger than Spider-man. 

He has sworn to protect the people, it is his duty. He knows that when he falls, he has people there to catch him. Especially if there is more villains like Thanos, the world needs all the help it can get. 

He turned to look at Bucky, suddenly feeling the urge to go outside and run around in the rain. He tried to do his best puppy eyes, knowing that Bucky wouldn't be willing to go outside in the rain. Bucky raised a brow and tried to look away, but Peter held his gaze with his puppy eyes. 

" Seriously Pete, I need protection against your eyes! What is it that you want?" 

Bucky sighed, giving in to Peter's puppy stare. Peter held the stare and smiled at his victory. Now all he has to do is convince Bucky to go outside with him! 

"Let's go outside!" 

Peter exclaimed enthusiastically, watching Bucky's reaction. Bucky didn't really register the words for a few seconds, before his jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. Bucky sputtered out a few words before gasping. 

"Kid, are you crazy? No wait, don't answer that- you are crazy! Can you see, I mean, you know it's raining right?" 

Peter nodded quickly. He had a feeling that Bucky would react this way. But everyone knew that Bucky could never resist anything from Peter. Actually, no one could resist Peter's puppy eyes. His eyes were so enchanting, once you look into them you can't look away. 

Bucky sighed and ran his hand through his hair, which had grown to a fabulous height. As much as he didn't want to go in the rain, he couldn't resist the kid. 

"Fine. But we're only going for a short walk." 

Peter jumped up happily, he didn't know why he was so excited to go out. He just wanted to be in the cool rain. Bucky laughed at him, and his smile grew. He clasped Bucky's hand in his and began to run to the entrance, with Bucky stumbling behind him. 

He quickly slipped on his shoes, watching Bucky do the same. He went to grab his jacket but pulled back his own hand. He wanted to feel the rain slither down his hair and face, he just wanted to feel something. 

Bucky raised a brow at Peter's refusal to wear a jacket, but he did not speak. And a comfortable silence covered the two, like a warm blanket. 

Peter was happy that no other Avengers were here. Tony had gone to a press conference with most of the other Avengers. Wanda and Vision were out, probably on a date. It was just Peter and Bucky, even Loki had disappeared.  

Peter swung the door open and bolted out into the rain. It poured down on him, refreshing his soul. Bucky pulled up his hood, not wanting to get his fabulous hair wet. Peter understood, if he had fabulous hair like that he wouldn't want it to get wet. 

Bucky and Peter began wandering aimlessly, through the streets, through the alleys. The had gotten further and further from the compound, but it seemed like neither of them wanted to go back. They both needed this moment to refresh their brains. 

And that's when it started, the feeling grew in Peter's stomach. The feeling that something was going to go wrong. But he didn't mention it to Bucky, it was probably nothing to worry about. But at the same time, his Spidey sense was NEVER wrong. 

They began to cross through another alley, and Peter's knees buckled and Bucky spun around to see if he was OK. But it was too late. Peter knew it was too late. He hunched over, straining his ears to hear whatever the bad thing was, or where it was.  

Bucky rubbed his back, and Peter knew they had messed up. They shouldn't have turned around. Because the bad thing was surrounding them, it was _everywhere._  

Suddenly, since they were distracted, both boys got dragged into some sort of empty storage garage. Both of them were so surprised they initially didn't fight back. They got thrown on the floor, and Peter knew that hell was coming. 

Bucky quickly got on his feet and helped Peter up. The lights were off, neither of them could see anything. Peter would never admit this, but he was scared, because he knew the bad thing that was coming, was going to be very, _very_ bad. 

The light flicked on, and hell reigned down on them. There were these weird soldiers everywhere, with weird symbols on their shirts. And they all looked like they were ready to fight. 

Bucky's breath hitched and he had this look on his face, like he was about to murder someone. Peter didn't know what the heck was happening, but he didn't really want to find out. 

Something was yelled in another language and the soldiers charged at them. It seemed like the soldiers weren't here to kill, they weren't firing their guns. 

But it was hard for Peter to keep them away. There were many soldiers, and only Peter and Bucky. It was getting harder and harder for him to defend himself. And these weren't just some random bad guys, these bad guys had training. 

The soldiers kept coming out of nowhere. And Peter refused to kill anybody, so he'd throw them away, and then they'd just come back. His Spidey senses were telling him that he wasn't going to win, and that he needed to run. But he couldn't leave Bucky. 

 Bucky seemed to be having trouble too. He was trying his best to keep them away, but there were too many. Peter knew that Bucky knew who these people were, otherwise he wouldn't have that look on his face. 

A soldier went behind Bucky, holding some sort of device that looked like he was going to shock Bucky. But Bucky didn't notice, and Peter's heart dropped. He had to help Bucky. He had to. 

Using whatever he had left in him, he sprang in between the man and Bucky. Receiving a face full of electricity. He couldn't stop the scream that escaped him, which sounded more like a Banshee. His whole body shook, never had he experienced such a powerful electric shock. 

Bucky stopped fighting, opposite of what Peter wanted him to do. He watched as Peter collapsed to the ground, before tackling the man with so much force the ground shook. Bucky became careless, throwing his fists everywhere without a plan. 

Peter couldn't exactly follow for the rest of the fight, only know that at some point. Bucky had been shocked too. And then both of them were laying there, Peter regretting making Bucky come out with him. 

A man went and shocked Bucky again, making sure he was unconscious. He said something in another language before laughing. The same man came to shock Peter again. 

He stuttered out, 

"Who...who are you?" 

The man snickered before shocking Peter again, 

 

"Hail HYDRA!" 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could bite like a tarantula  
> Right through the skin  
> And leave my poison dripping  
> Deliciously unsuspecting  
> Protecting you from all harm  
> Except perhaps from these arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter was posted later than the time I usually post it at. I got kicked out of my house so I had to find an empty computer at the library.   
> Side note:  
> It's July 4th, which means................HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> actually right now it's jan 14 and i live in canada so its cold as fuck

Peters body was twisted into an unhealthy shape, his arms went bent backwards and his legs looked like they had been hit multiple times with a bat or something hard. His looks perfectly described how he felt in that moment. Actually, technically speaking, he didn't feel anything. He wasn't even awake, he was out cold, colder than the hearts of the people who kidnapped them. 

Bucky was much better however, with his arms in a normal position, and his legs were OK. He suffered less injuries than Peter did. And he can't help but feeling like they roughed up Peter on purpose. When they shocked Peter a second time, he went unconscious, but they still beat him up and hit him. 

Bucky's heart was racing, not for him, but for Peter. His trigger words had been solved during his stay in Wakanda, but he was worried for Peter. They could do anything to Peter, and he wasn't able to protect him since he was chained to the wall. 

Peter stirred, and Bucky's heart picked up speed. He wanted Peter to just stay asleep, to rest before the scientists came for him. To think that this was all a dream, before it all went down. He hoped that they wouldn't bother Peter, that they'd just torture Bucky and let Peter live his own life. But he himself knew that his hopes were no good, because there was no hope here. They'll suck the life out of you, and even once you're a blank canvas, they will continuously torture you. 

Peter groaned and turned his head to the side. Bucky dropped his head to his chest, ashamed that he wasn't able to protect Peter. Knowing Peter, he'd forgive Bucky. But once Peter becomes tortured, he'll take that forgiveness back. Bucky loves Peter, with all his heart, he's like his older brother, and his heart is breaking to just see Peter in chains.  

Peter moved his arms, to rub the sleepiness away. His eyes flickered open, squinting, wondering why he couldn't rub his eyes, he moved his arms again. The panic didn't settle in him yet, and he tried to move his legs so that he could stand. And that's when the panic settled in him. He Couldn't move.  

Bucky watched with sadness building in his eyes. Peters eyes trailed up his own arms, seeing them bent in a weird position, chained to the wall. His breath hitched and he glanced down at his legs, gagging at the weird position they were chained in. He tried pulling on them, but these chains were meant for enhanced people. 

Peter began to panic, tugging furiously at the chains that were binding him. Bucky, _Bucky, is Bucky OK?_ Peter recalled the little fight that he and Bucky had participated in earlier. And his only thought was to find out if Bucky was OK. 

Peters eyes traveled around the room, absorbing every detail. And hunched in the back corner was Bucky, safe, or at least, not dead. Peter regretting ever making Bucky step out of the compound. If he had just listened!  

Peters heart skipped a beat and his breath hitched. If he had just listened. Doesn't that sound familiar, 'None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me?!' Isn't that what he had yelled at Mr.Stark? Is this his karma? Is this what he gets for not listening? 

"Peter. I need you to breath for me. Please." 

Peters eyes trailed back to Bucky, he wasn't really able to see his face in the darkness, but he tried his best to look Bucky in the eye. He tried his best to seem strong. 

Peter nodded, and took deep breaths, making a mental note to ask Mr. Stark for help with panic attacks. He knew Mr. Stark had panic attacks, he just pretended like he didn't, for Mr. Starks sake.  

Peter listened to Bucky's breath, and copied it. He could hear everything, and nothing, it was scary. He could hear his breaths, his heart, Bucky's breath, Bucky's heart, and that's it. The walls must be made of something that obstructs his hearing. 

"I promise you Bucky, I won't let them hurt you." 

Peter swore to himself to protect Bucky at all costs, since he was the one who dragged them into this mess. Bucky, however, had a completely different idea.  

"Pete, no. I'm the one to protect you. You're a kid. I'm the adult." 

"No Bucky, you don't understand. I have to protect you, I have to." 

"Peter, No! Listen to me. It's my job! I have to. I don't want to lose you too!" 

"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I NEED TO DO THIS! YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT! I GOT US INTO THIS, I'LL PROTECT YOU!" 

The room fell deadly silent, Bucky had never ever heard Peter yell. Peter had always been a good quiet kid, he never defied the rules. But Bucky saw, in this moment, who Peter really was. Peter was a kid, one willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. Why? Because he lost everything, and he didn't want others to lose. He's willing to lose himself for them.  

Bucky saw everything in Peter that he saw in Steve. The willingness to risk himself for other people, even if it means endangering himself. The willingness to lose it all for someone else, even if he has nothing left to lose. Bucky regrets ever fighting this kid in that airport, because he thought this kid had no idea what he was fighting for. He was wrong, this kid had every idea what he's fighting for. He fighting for himself. 

The door swung open, engulfing the room in sunlight. Bucky squinted to adjust, but with Peters excellent eye sight, his eyes didn't have to adjust. Peter watched the door closely, his Spidey senses reminding him that he's still in danger. 

Peters heart hammered against his chest. He knew that in situations like this, he was supposed to hope for the best. But he knew that they wouldn't be gentle, even if he begged them. He's supposed to think logically, but logic was lost. 

This guy walked in, wearing some weird suit. He began to speak to Bucky in another language. At some point he pointed at Peter, and Bucky's reaction did not help to calm Peter. Bucky freaked out, shaking his head and beginning to yell in another language. 

Peters heart dropped to his stomach when the man started laughing and then called something out. These men marched in, with guns. Their feet were marching completely in sync. 

The man turned and said something to the men in all black with guns. They said something back, before rushing over to Peter. They undid his chains, letting his arms flop to his side. And then they, not so gently, grabbed Peter and hauled him to his feet. 

Bucky was still talking, pleading, for something with the man. But the man had no intention of listening to Bucky anymore. The man was only focusing on Peter. He slowly approached Peter, never letting his eyes flicker somewhere else. 

He got really close to Peter, staring him in the eye. Peter knew this man was bad, but that was the least important thing right now. Because everyone was bad. 

The man gripped Peter's chin, and turned Peter's head to the side, and then back to face him. The man laughed and Peter could smell his breath. 

"Welcome to your new home." 


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the birds can sing a tuneless song?  
> How can they stay in the sky?  
> Maybe they’re just screaming  
> Maybe it’s not music and it’s all a lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I decided to put off writing this chapter but I did, and it's kinda bad, sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> like my grades
> 
>  
> 
> wut

_{C_ _hapter_ _5}_  

 _"Peter! Wake up! You've_ _forg_ _otten to turn your alarm on! Again! Get going, or else you'll be late to school!"_  

 _A groan escaped Peters lips and he sunk further into his sheets, ignoring Aunt May calling for him._    
_This was the fourth time of the week that he's slept through, or forgotten to turn on, his alarm. It didn't matter too much to him though, he didn't like school anyways. He was smarter than most of the people there anyways, top of everything, except P.E of course._  

 _But he knew that if he didn't get up sooner or later, Uncle Ben would come through his door and shake him till his brain is all jumbled up. And he didn't enjoy having his brain awaken by being thrown_ _into_ _a blender._  

 _He slithered out from under the sheets, not willing to open his eyes as he slumped to the floor. The daily struggle of a student, waking up. And then the second daily struggle, life. He didn't hate school or learning, he hated the people, the disgusting people._ _The people who complain about not getting the_ _newest_ _phone model, the people who don't know anything about loss._  

 _He peeled his eyes open, adjusting to the_ _lighting_ _in his room. It was brighter than he would've enjoyed. But it helped him wake up, just a bit. But he knew that if it was sunny,_ _then_ _P.E would most likely be outside, which sucks._  

 _He grabbed his glasses and put them on, his vision clearing up. Without them, he wasn't blind, but his vision was pretty bad. Peter didn't mind, with or without his glasses, he was a nerd. And these glasses helped him feel closer to his real parents, who had passed away. His dad used to wear glasses._  

 _He yawned and stumbled out of his room, following the sweet scent of waffles and bacon,_ _courtesy_ _of Aunt May. His favorite thing in the morning, breakfast. That was the only thing he looked forward to in the morning._  

 _He wasn't really a heavy eater, but he always managed to stomach more than he needed when May cooked. Ben's cooking wasn't bad, it just wasn't good, it was just neutral. If that makes sense. It was like eating McDonalds, the food was greasy but good, but the more you eat it, the_ _weirder_ _it tastes._  

 _Peter rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes, sitting himself at the table, waiting for breakfast. Ben sat across from him, reading a newspaper. The headline read, 'HEROES ARE THE REAL VILLANS', something churned in Peter's stomach, but he ignored it._  

 _He didn't keep up with the news much, but he had heard that there was recent drama about the superheroes. But when was there never drama? He wondered what it would be like to be a hero, it must be scary, to risk your life for others._  

 _Ben slid a copy of a different newspaper in Peter's direction. Peter raised a brow at Ben, usually it wasn't this silent. But Peter saw the look on Ben's face, such seriousness. Peter picked up the paper._  

 _'THE HEROES ARE THE REAL DANGER'_  

 _'Since the first appearance of Tony Stark's Iron Man, the world has not been the same. Many other enhanced beings have exposed themselves to the world. Even the, supposed to be, dead Captain America, has made appearances. With that being said, how much do we not know? These heroes deem it up to them to tell us certain things, and we aren't told enough. How are we_ _expected_ _to trust these people when they have so many_ _secrets? In fact, after some digging, it was found out that some of these heroes have deadly pasts. Take Black_ _Widow_ _for example, many people claim that she is a new person, but is she? She has killed before, with no regret, she has no emotions. What's saying that she won't turn on us?! And now we have a God, a God! This God isn't from Earth, it's from a whole diffe_ _rent_ _world. And the more we invite_ _other_ _worldly beings into Earth, the more we invite other worldly danger to attack us!'_  

 _Peter stopped reading and put the paper_ _down. The heroes had become such a dramatic topic for people to discuss. But he never went against Uncle Ben, never ever, so if Uncle Ben hated heroes, then he would too._  

 _He_ _glanced_ _up at his Uncle Ben, who was now sipping his hot coffee. He watched the steam swirl around and float away, oh how he wanted to be like that steam, to just float into oblivion._  

 _Aunt May waltzed into the kitchen, carrying too many plates of waffles and_ _bacon._ _She_ _always made more than they could eat._  

 _"Eat up boys, you both need your strength."_  

 _Uncle Ben laughed and grabbed his own plate and began filling it up, Peter did the same. He just wanted to dig into his food. And he did. And it was delicious, like always._ _It tasted like home, his home, his new home._  

 _"Seriously Aunt May, your food is the best."_  

 _Aunt May brushed off his compliments and took her own seat and turned on the radio, listening to the news._ _She always listened to the news in the morning._  

 _Everything was going great, Peter was_ _enjoying_ _a wonderful breakfast with his Uncle. He was happy._  

 _"Those stupid people, thinking that they're heroes. We don't need them. Earth was fine before without them, we don't need them. Someone needs to get rid of them."_  

 _Uncle Ben snarled out the second that heroes came up on the radio. Peter didn't know what to do, so he just nodded, and Aunt May hummed in agreement._ _He had never thought much of the heroes, but he can understand both sides of the argument. The heroes save, but in the process, they kill, so what does that make them? Outlaws?_  

 _"You're completely right, Ben. The more good we have, the_ _eviler_ _we get. Someone needs to balance it out, too much good means too much bad. We need a balance."_  

 _Peter never remember_ _ed_ _his Aunt and Uncle acting this way. But like he said earlier, he would never go against his Uncle. So, he continued to listen to the radio, suddenly not as hungry._  

 _"Peter, you haven't said anything. Are you going against us? Are you defying us?"_  

 _Uncle Ben raised his brow at Peter, with his coffee sitting_ _there_ _, cold._  

 _"No. I would never. You are right. We need balance. We don't need heroes."_  

 _————————————————————————————————————————————_  

 _"_ Вранье ( _Lies)_  

Обязанность ( _Responsibility)_  

Один ( _One)_  

Выпускник ( _Graduate)_  

Человечество ( _Humanity)_  

Баланс ( _Balance)_  

шестьдесят два ( _Sixty-Two)_  

Безвредный ( _Innocuous)_  

Главная ( _Home)_  

Справедливость ( _Equity)"_  

 

 

 

"готовы соблюдать 

Ready to comply" 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case this chapter was confusing: This is basically HYDRA altering Peter's memory, creating incidents that never happened, manipulating him. So this scene, never happened, but it is made for Peter to believe that it's happening. HYDRA is changing his brain, so that he'll comply. So basically, HYDRA changed Peter's memory into making him comply.  
> It took me forever to come up with decent trigger words for Peter. I wanted them to have meaning, not just random words.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Power is bad  
> Silence is good  
> Violence is bad  
> But balance is good  
> The world isn’t fair  
> The challenge is great  
> It’s bitter and sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I updated it so late (It's midnight where I live) I was gone all day and rushed to publish this chapter before it was too late. It might be a bit messy!  
> Please leave comments, I love reading the comments you guys leave, it really makes my day.
> 
>  
> 
> potat
> 
>  
> 
> im literally just dying with my finals

{CHAPTER 6} 

Bucky cupped his head in his hands, feeling like his skull had been smashed in. In truth, nothing had happened to Bucky, absolutely nothing. He's been sitting in the same cell for five days in a row, wondering where the hell Peter is, if Peter's alive. He didn't want to think about that, if Peter was.... if Peter was dead, he doesn't know what he'd do. He would've failed, he can't do that to Peter.

Five days would usually pass like the wind, so swiftly, but five days with Hydra, passes too slowly. Bucky knows that in those five days, Hydra could manage to twist someone's brain in the most horrible ways. It takes one day to give in, it takes two to give up, what would happen in five? 

But the scariest thought that still lingers in Bucky's mind, is, why haven't they come for him? Why hasn't Hydra come for the Winter Soldier? Just sitting here, wondering when all the torture will start, that's the scariest. It's like he's standing on the edge of a cliff, watching as someone prepares to push him off. 

He needed to stay calm, something that seemed nearly impossible in this situation. But he knew that getting angry won't help him, it could make things work. He doesn't need to worry, his time in Wakanda cured him, his trigger words are trash. But it's not him he's worried for. 

Peter may be a kid, but that doesn't stop Hydra. They want soldiers, no matter what age. Peter...... might not be Peter right now. Hydra could've screwed with Peter's brain. Hydra could've already wrapped Peter around their fat fingers. 

Hydra doesn't care that Peter has a life to live. They care that Peter is special, he's enhanced, and now they can make him even stronger. 

Bucky shuddered, looking up from his lap, hands dropping limp to his side. He couldn't see, there was no light, and he was stuck, in the darkness. His eyes grazed over the darkness, wondering what is waiting for him.  

 _Hell,_  

He decides, 

 _Hell is waiting._  

 _\-----------------------------------------------------------_  

 _"_ Статус солдата. Я хочу все знать. Каковы его полномочия? (Status of the soldier. I want to know everything. What are his powers?)" 

He couldn't open his eyes, they felt too heavy, like they had been glued together. His limbs were flopped by his sides, and he was unable to move. 

He strained his ears to hear whatever was going on. He couldn't remember much. Just that the heroes had almost killed him, the heroes had tortured him. The heroes were going to destroy the world. But where was he now? Who was he? 

"Солдат демонстрирует прилипание к стене, повышенную силу, скорость, рефлексы, долговечность, выносливость, исцеление и способность к магии. Чем больше мы экспериментируем, тем сильнее она становится. (The soldier shows wall crawling, super strength, speed, reflexes, longevity, endurance, healing and agility abilities. The more we experiment, the stronger he becomes)" 

Were they talking about him? They had to be, or maybe not. But strangely enough, he could understand everything they were saying. It didn't sound proper, like it was the wrong language, but it's what he knows, so it must be right. 

He breathed in and out, the air tasted weird, like something foul. But it's what he knows, so it must be right. 

"Солдат пробуждается (Soldier is awakening)" 

Soldier, is that him? Is his name Soldier? Does he have a name? So many questions, with no answers. He wants answers. But he must open his eyes, he must see, and what he sees is there, so it must be right. 

He peeled his eyes open and was greeted with a dimly lit room, with machines everywhere. He twitched, he did not like machines, the heroes had tortured him with them. He did not like being watched, it felt wrong, but it's what he sees, so it must be right. 

There were so many eyes. Eyes everywhere, people everywhere, in a small room. His ears zoned in, listening to each person's heartbeat, something he didn't know he could do. Their breaths were so loud, like they were screaming, but they weren't.  

He could hear the hum of the flickering lights, like they were being blasted, but no one else was reacting. He could hear everything, and it was a lot to take in. Every breath someone took, was too loud, too painful. 

The people in white coats watched his every move, he did not like it. They whispered among each other, which was no use, about how he was going to make a fine soldier. So that means that soldier is a thing to do, a fine soldier, so who was he then? 

Then just like that, a man in a white coat went to stick a needle in him, and he snapped. He knew what was going to happen before the man could do it, he had sensed the man's movement without even seeing him. And before the needle was even close to him, the man was lying on his back with a broken arm, the needle shoved into his leg. 

Some people in all black pulled out guns, aiming at him. But he felt good, like he wanted to fight, it's what he sees, so it must be right.  

The men in white coats were smiling, like something had made them happy. Was it him? Did he do something right? Were they going to send him back to the heroes? He twitched, watching them closely, he knew what they were going to do before they did it. 

"Добро пожаловать, Солдат. Вы в безопасности, мы спасли вас от героев. (Welcome Soldier. You are safe, we saved you from the heroes)" 

So, he was safe. It's what they said, so it must be right. But now he's confused, is he soldier, or is he not soldier? They keep calling him soldier, so that must mean his name is soldier. 

"Я солдат (I'm Soldier?)" 

The men chuckled, like he had said something funny. He twitched. He watched them closely, not daring to look away for even one second. But something in his brain said this was right. He's a soldier. For Hydra. 

 _Вранье_  

"Вы являетесь активом. Вы нас. Вы не бросаете вызов (You are Asset. You are us. You do not defy)" 

 _Обязанность_  

It's what they said, he heard it, so it must be right. He does not defy because they saved him. He is grateful. He will do anything they ask. He is Asset. 

 _Один_  

They are here to help him, they are going to make him stronger. He will be better than the heroes. He will show the world what balance is. 

 _Выпускник_  

He will complete every mission because it is his duty. He will not fail because failure is not an option. He will fight, till death, for Hydra. 

 _Человечество_  

He is Asset. He is the Winter Soldier. He is the strongest, fastest, bravest. He will not disappoint. These people have rescued him, and now he's filled with anger, the need for revenge. 

Баланс 

шестьдесят два 

Безвредный 

The world will get to see what balance is, between good and evil. The people will see how bad the heroes are. The people will see. And the people will be free. Because good and evil will be balanced. 

 _Главная_  

 _Справедливость_  

The men in white coats looked him in the eye. Seriousness drawing over their eyes, dripping down their faces. He knew it was his duty, the world will see, balance, true balance. The world will see, and Hydra will reign. 

"Актив? (Asset?)" 

The looked at him expectantly, 

He will not fail,  

Till death will he fight 

"готовы соблюдать 

Ready to comply" 

 


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So take a look at me now,  
> oh there's just an empty space  
> And there's nothing left here to remind me,  
> just the memory of your face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that I won't be able to get a chapter up on Friday since I'll be camping! I'll post it on Saturday! . Sorry that this chapter was so bad, I was rushing to write it.
> 
>  
> 
> new thing
> 
>  
> 
> i hate camping
> 
>  
> 
> i hate bugs ( except u peter )

{CHAPTER 7}

Asset had been training ruthlessly throughout the week. Each day he slips further into oblivion, not noticing how his emotions started to disappear. He just needed to be good, it doesn't matter what he needs to sacrifice.

He turned himself inside out, swallowing whatever was left of him. He became nothing, empty, with only a few reminders that he was even human. Which he wasn't, he was enhanced, he was special.

So, Asset trained, feeling empty, punching those bags, but nothing was left for him to hit. And then, he became air, he flowed away leaving an empty body for them to command.

And sooner or later he was going on his first mission. A simple assassination, just pull the trigger, watch the man fall. Move on, repeat.

"Выровняйте пистолет. Спустить курок. Удостоверьтесь, что он мертв. Вернитесь к нам. (Align the gun. Pull the trigger. Make sure he's dead. Return to us.)"

Asset followed instructions perfectly, his list of those he'd killed, began to pile up. He never missed when he pulled the trigger, he was success. He didn't regret it, because he didn't know it was wrong.

He was constantly going on missions; the trigger was tainted. And so was he.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky sat in the same room for about a week now, he's lost count. But he didn't lose hope, the Avengers would find them, somehow. He would be safe, Peter would be safe. And then, they could burn this place to the ground.

But even as he tried to convince himself it would be OK, he knew it wouldn't be. The Avengers had no way of finding them, the amount of Hydra bases just kept building up, they wouldn't know which one they were at. They could be in another country, across the world, or right beside the Avengers facility.

Bucky tried his best to stay positive, he just had to hang on until it was safe. He just had to make sure Peter got out of here before it was too late for him. While Hydra erases traces of personality, they don't destroy it. Locked in Peter's mind will be everything, as long as he's not too far gone. And he doesn't know how far gone Peter is at the moment, it might already be too late.

Bucky heard the familiar clinking of his door opening. It opens three times a day, sliding him a plate full of food scraps. He could just burst out of the room, but he won't get far, they'd get to Peter before he would.

But this time his door didn't close, it remained open, and a man waltzed in. This is it, he thought, they've come for the Winter Soldier. Hydra was going to change him back to his old ways.

He reminded himself that his trigger words wouldn't work, and he wouldn't give in to them no matter what. He just had to think of Peter, and Steve. His trigger words were trash.

The man stood outside, only watching him for a few moments, before entering and looking around, as if he was actually interested. Uneasiness settled in Bucky, he knew something was wrong. Hydra workers don't just come in without a purpose.

"This is the old Winter Soldier? You seem more like a lost man."

Bucky was startled but kept a straight face. Everyone was mostly speaking Russian, but now it's clear that they could speak both languages. But, what does the man mean by 'Old Winter Soldier', it couldn't mean what he thought it meant, it just couldn't.

He glared at the man, silently wishing that he would just leave Bucky be. But the man had no intentions of leaving just yet. He had to finish what he came here to do, whatever it was.

"Ah well. You must've thought we came for you. Well, that was the original plan. But there was a turn of events. Your spider proved more useful."

Bucky had to suck in a deep breath and pinch himself. He just wanted to hurl himself at this man and kill him. But he couldn't, because it would risk Peter's safety.

The man stuck his head out of the door, signaling for someone else to enter the room. Bucky grit his teeth, wanting so bad to just knock out this guy.

A boy walked in the room, and Bucky's breath left his body. No, no, no, no! Not him, please! He would've rather seen a doctor, a scientist, that this boy. His boy, Stark's boy.

Peter.

He stood in the room with the man, not caring about Bucky, not recognizing Bucky. His eyes were glazed over, he wasn't Peter anymore, He was empty. He didn't care about Bucky, he didn't care about who he used to be.

"Peter?"

Bucky called out, even though he knew that he wouldn't get an answer. He just wanted the boy to hear his name, maybe trigger some memories. Something, Bucky just wanted to see or hear something from the boy.

But the boy did not move, did not blink. He just stood there, like a ghost, blending in with the background. He stood perfectly still, not even slouching, keeping his eyes trained on the wall.

The man laughed at Bucky, finding his sadness amusing. Bucky growled, but still did not move, not when Peter was so close to him. Not when the man could kill Peter so quickly.

"He's quite good. He's already got a kill count."

Bucky's head snapped up, eyes filled with rage. They made his boy kill. And they were going to regret it! They were going to wish that they never placed a finger on Peter!

"You're sick! He's a kid! You can't do this to him."

Bucky continued screaming insults, but the man only laughed. And Peter just stood there, not a care in the world. Bucky knew that his insults would have no effect on the man, he just needed to get it out of him.

The man handed Peter a gun. Bucky's insults died down now that Peter has a gun. Why would Peter need a gun?

Bucky's face was filled with fear, he didn't need a mirror to know that. But he was so worried the man was going to order Peter to kill himself.

"You see, he's not exactly Peter. Asset, shoot."

Peter aimed the gun at Bucky, not for his head, for somewhere lower. Peter didn't hesitate, looked Bucky in the eye, and shot. Bucky grunted, his world was spinning, but he could only care about Peter.

The bullet had gone straight through his leg, leaving a small hole, but still blood poured out. The man laughed some more and left, taking Asset with him.

And Bucky knew that he was going to get his revenge.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Born to pull the trigger  
> Fuel to feed the hate  
> Innocence is shattered  
> The blood that cripples the hand of fate
> 
> The trip into the black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooooooooooooooof

_{Chapter 8}_

_Peter_  

 _Peter._  

 _Peter._  

 _Peter,_  

 _Peter._  

 _Peter?_  

 _Peter!_  

 _PETER!_  

Asset groaned, trying to shove those words out of his head. That man he shot, was a failure. He was helping Hydra, he was helping balance, he failed, he failed. But something told Asset there was more he didn't know. 

But, he wasn't here to know, if he knew everything, there would be no balance. He just needed to focus, to complete his goals. 

He was finding it harder and harder to pull the trigger, he always had to look away, not wanting to see it. Bad, he's bad, he's not supposed to be afraid, he's a bad asset, bad, bad, bad gets shocked, bad gets hurt, good, he needs to be good. 

His hands tightened around the current file he was holding, his next kill, it was for balance of course. He would complete this goal, and he wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger this time. 

 **_Target: Tony Stark_ **  

 **_Target Goal: To die_ **  

 ** _Action List: Kill quickly, don't let him alert the other bad people. Try to get him without the suit. Obtain the ark reactor for research purposes._** ** _Don't converse with him, he's dangerous._** ** _Pathological_** **_liar_** ** _. Try to aim from far. Don't fail._**  

 **_It's for balance_ **  

Asset didn't need to read anymore, he already understood what he had to do. Shoot from afar, if he misses, which he won't, get up close, but don't converse. 

It was simple, but the name rang within Asset, Tony Stark, one of the 'heroes'. Something tingled within him, but he pushed it away. He didn't need any distractions. 

He geared up, which was simple, grab a bunch of guns and get in a van. He didn't wear a mask, every time they put a mask on him, something would spark, a feeling, a feeling of being crushed under something, unable to breathe even though he could. 

He shrugged the feelings off of him, wanting to complete his goal like a good boy. Aim, Shoot. Aim, Shoot. Aim, Shoot. Aim, Shoot. 

The van jerked to a stop, snapping Asset out of his mind. He just needed to do this quickly. They were parked in an alley, beside a fancy building. Stark was probably in the fancy building, after all, it was the Avengers building. 

He easily stuck to the wall, and casually walked up the wall of the nearest building. He positioned his rifle, aiming it at the entrance, where Tony Stark would probably walk out of. 

He waited no less than a few minutes, before a man walked out. Asset gasped, feeling like he had been punched. It was Tony Stark, Hydra had shown him Tony's face, so why did he feel this way? 

His finger floated above the trigger, Stark had a look of surprise, before turning to face Asset. How did he know Asset was here? Asset pulled the trigger quickly, but Stark had already rushed back into the building. 

Asset growled, hoping off the building, falling a far distance, landing without a scratch. And he ran after the man. 

The special thing that Hydra put in his eyes, microchips or something, helped him see heat vision, and he was able to lock onto Stark's location. 

Stark was at the 9th floor of the building. There were more people, but none on that floor. Good. That would make this easier for him. 

He crawled up the side of the building, at lightning speed. He found a vent and ripped it off the wall, slipping in quietly. 

He crawled through the vent, not making a single sound. It was like he was weightless. He just slipped through the vents, watching Stark like a hawk. 

And then the building went on lock down. And that meant that Stark knew that he was around he somewhere. But he probably didn't know that he was on the same floor as him. Stark just locked himself in with Asset. 

"По трубе водосточной взбирался паучок 

(The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the water sprout.)" 

He continued to crawl around, letting his voice fill the vents, and filter out into the rooms. It was guaranteed that Stark could most likely hear him. He wasn't sure where he was getting the lyrics from, somewhere back in his mind, but it sounded creepy. 

"Тут начался дождик 

(Down came the rain.)" 

He excited the vent and crawled onto the ceiling. His eyes were locked on Stark, who was frantically running around at this point, trying to locate the voice. The others in the building had started running around to, but to no avail, they could not leave their floors. 

"И паучок промок 

(And washed the spider out)." 

Stark was running around now, clearly in distress. Asset knew he wasn't supposed to communicate with Stark, but this wasn't really communicating.  

Asset wondered why Stark wasn't calling his suit. But that was a good thing, it would make this easier for him. 

"А как солнце вышло 

(Out came the sun)." 

He was in the same room as Stark now. And Stark had stopped moving, as if he was too afraid to move. Asset was in the corner of the ceiling, his voice filled the room. 

"Наш паучок просох 

(It dried up all the rain.) 

и паука больше не видели 

(And the spider was never seen again)." 

He slowly dropped himself to the floor, using his webs, careful to not make a single noise. He slowly stalked up to Stark, standing right behind him. He gripped his knife tightly. 

"Ни был человек 

(Neither was the man)." 

Stark spun around and was now face to face with Asset. His eyes widened as he looked at Asset. Asset smirked and was quick to swipe at Stark. But it seems like Stark had at least some training and managed to dodge the swipe quickly. 

Asset growled and continued to swipe at the man, wondering why it was so damn hard to kill him. But it was like something in him refused to hurt the man, which was strange, this man had tortured him. 

"Pete? Hey, Peter. I need you to calm down." 

He's not Peter. He's Asset. He swiped again, ignoring the dumb comments Stark was making. He was not Peter. He's not Peter. 

Asset made eye contact with Stark, and something in Stark's eyes made Asset hesitate ever so slightly. That look, of pure anger, it was not directed at Asset. 

Asset swiped again. 

"Peter! Please! Peter!" 

Asset kicked Stark hard, watching him flail across the room like a doll. 

"I'm not Peter!" 

Something was wrong, he wasn't supposed to talk back. Why was he breaking the rules?! 

"You are! You're Peter. You're mine!" 

Asset screamed, he swiped at Stark, cutting him. He didn't know why he was so mad, usually words don't get to him, but this time he was wavering. Pathological liar, that's what Stark was. 

Stark stared Asset in the eye, as if Asset would stop. Asset felt something bubbling in him, but he reacted quickly. And he plunged his knife into Stark's stomach. He should've pulled it out and stabbed him again, he knows that the place and depth he stabbed Stark wouldn't kill him. 

But he sighed, as if he had just completed his goal. He raised a hand to his ear and pressed the button. Stark lay there, gasping, but even Stark knew he would survive this. 

"He's dead." 

Asset's voice was thick with a Russian accent. Something he had picked up along the way. Stark frowned from the ground but didn't say anything. 

Asset walked back over to the open vent. _He wouldn't turn around, He wouldn't turn around._ He turned around and regretted it. Stark's face, he was crying, normally Asset would laugh, but something told him not to. 

He jumped back into the vent and left the way he came. He easily found the van he came in. He felt like he had just discovered something new. 

"Ты уверен, что он мертв? (Are you sure he's dead?)" 

Asset froze. He should say no. It was for balance after all. He was a good Asset. He knows what needs to be done. 

 

"да 

Yes" 

 

 


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness, despair. 
> 
> Sometimes the things I cherish, 
> 
> Sometimes that's all I've got 
> 
> And that's enough. 
> 
> Bitterness, anger. 
> 
> Man-made torture, 
> 
> Not to be shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im listening to acdc right now

{Chapter 9} 

"Ты солгал, Ассет. (You lied, Asset.)" 

Asset sat in the same chair that he had always feared. He doesn't remember at what point he began to fear this chair, but it grew on him, slowly making him terrified. They said this was good for him, but something tells him that it's wrong, not right. 

He had failed to kill Stark, actually, he doesn't know if he ever intended to kill Stark. He intended to do what's right, but he doesn't know what that is anymore. So now, he's in trouble since he failed, but who did he fail, because he doesn't think he failed himself. 

"Старк. Я знал его. Я не мог этого сделать. Я его знаю. Почему, откуда я его знаю? (Stark. I knew him. I could not do it. I know him. Why-How do I know him?)" 

He looked up at the man, who was the one who gave orders. The man dragged a hand down his face, cursing like a sailor. Now that the Asset looked at him, something about this man was also familiar. Too familiar, like Stark. 

 _Peter_  

That makes two people who had called Asset, Peter. Perhaps he looks like a Peter? But something tells him that it's more than that. He knows Stark, and it seems like this man won't give him answers, so he'll just have to ask someone else. 

"I'm not dealing with another fail. Wipe him. Wipe him, god-dammit! Wipe everything! He shouldn't even remember anything! Wipe him, right now!" 

A sick feeling grew in Asset, they were going to wipe him. He didn't want to be shocked. He didn't want to be hurt. But it was too late, they were already preparing him. They gave him a mouth guard to bite on, they leaned him back, they attached the machine to his head. 

And his screams filled the room. 

\---------------------------------------------------- 

 

"I found him-" 

"Shut up Tony, you're hurt." 

Steve and everyone else had helped patch up Tony, after he had been stabbed. It wasn't a fatal wound, but it was a wound nonetheless. Every time he tried to explain what had happened, they would shut him up. 

It was strange for him to think back to the times when he and Captain could not get along. The Civil War, the Accords. When their friendship had broken over the dumbest thing. He blocked that out of his memory, but occasionally it would slip through the cracks in his mind. And right now, he had too many cracks in his mind. 

He had been itching to tell everyone everything. To just spill it out. But every time he tried to say something, they shut him up. They had been searching for Peter and Bucky for about 2 weeks. Nobody got much sleep, trying to figure out where they had gone. 

He sighed, flinging himself off the bed, ignoring everyone's protests. Since they won't let him talk, he'll just show them. He had to, if he kept it in him any longer, he might just explode. Even though this wouldn't help them find the kid, at least they knew he was alive. 

He's Tony Stark, of course there's cameras everywhere. Actually, those cameras were there so that he could watch the boy, make sure that the boy was always ok. It seems like the cameras didn't help him protect the boy. 

"Tony, just lie down." 

He waved his hand, dismissing everyone. He continued to stumble over to the couch. Yes, it wasn't a fatal wound, but he didn't have special healing abilities like everyone else. He was just Tony. 

"Just shut up and watch." 

He plopped down on the couch, everyone watching him with close eyes. He ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y to play back the footage of his fight. The team sighed, taking their own places at the couch. How nice of them to get comfy while watching him get stabbed. 

The footage started, and no one said a word. It showed Peter attacking Tony, refusing to believe that he was Peter. Then it showed Peter stabbing Tony and confirming that Tony was dead. Then Peter crawled out of the building. 

Sam put a hand on Tony's shoulder. Although Bucky was like Peter's older brother, and Tony was like Peter's dad, Sam was like Peter's uncle. Actually, everyone loved that kid, it was impossible to not like him. Even Loki had taken a fondness to the kid. 

Sam would never say it out loud, but he cared for that kid. That kid brought something special to the table, something that the team needed. When the team had gotten back together, there were still many cracks in their relationships. Peter helped heal those cracks, with his innocence, which was probably ruined now. 

An eerie silence covered the room, it was like there was no air. Steve looked like he had seen a ghost, probably remembering when he saw Bucky this way. Clint was mad, everyone could tell, he had his own kids, he was probably thinking about his kids in that situation. Natasha had a straight face, but she had sad eyes, probably also remembering when Hydra had Bucky.  

Tony looked like he was on the verge of murdering somebody or killing himself. Knowing Tony, he'd probably blame himself for it. But no one was to blame. 

"I found him, but Hydra found him first." 

Tony was the first to speak up, breaking the silence that floated throughout the room. Pain laced his words, pain for him, pain for the team, pain for Peter, pain for his son. 

"We'll get him back, Tony. I promise. We'll get him back. 

That's a promise." 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I met you, I remember  
> But try as I may  
> I can't seem to remember the time or the day  
> I met you, I remember  
> That's all I can say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this update was late! I had a ballet exam, and then my wifi was really shaky and it wouldn't save.  
> the ballet exam was good

{Chapter 10} 

Asset snapped his eyes open as he gasped for breath; wondering where he was, and what he was doing in this strange place. The last thing he remembers, was getting dragged into a room, strapped to a chair and being shocked. He doesn’t remember much before or after that, he just remembers that he has a mission, and if he doesn’t complete it, then he will be hurt, and the last thing he wants to do is get hurt. He wonders why the word mission is drilled over and over in his head, he must have a connection to this word. 

Asset listened to his heart beat, wondering why it was beating at such a fast pace. The hairs on his arm stood up, and something was screaming in the back of his mind. But his mind was empty, the more he tried to think, the more his head pounded. 

So, Asset decided not to think, and instead decided to try and find out was his mission is. He was in a small room, all white walls, and a big steel door, no windows, bright lights. Something told him that even though the door looked heavy, he would be able to knock it down. 

But as he planned what to do after he knocks down the door, he heard something else. Most of the people in the building had the same heartbeat, not too fast, not too slow. But someone else in the building, had a very fast beating heart, and they were crying. He twitched, the person was crying but also breathing rather heavily. 

His lips turned down, which startled him, and _that_ startled him also. He wasn’t supposed to have lips that turn down or up, and he surely wasn’t supposed to feel startled, or feel anything. But he was, he was feeling something, and that something was bad. 

The screaming in his head got really loud, and then he realized it wasn’t screaming. It was this thing around his neck, sending electric bolts into him. It sounded a lot like screams. Asset groaned and grasped his head with his hands. 

Dots invaded his vision, and he got mad, he felt madness, he _felt!_ But it didn’t last long, when the bolts got harder, he couldn’t stay awake. And he wasn’t even sleepy, he was weak. And the weak fail, he wanted to be strong. But he wasn’t. 

And he fell limp onto the floor, trying to drown out the screams with the sounds of the man’s tears. And something clicked. 

Memories, random- photo like- memories, played in his head. He would see something, a quick image, but enough to fuel him. Words danced through his mind, whispering to him. Each voice had a certain tone, a certain feel. Each voice, made him feel. 

\-------------------- 

 _“I just wanted to be like you!”_  

 _“ And I wanted you to be better!”_  

\-------------------- 

 _“I am nothing without this suit!”_  

 _“If you’re nothing without that suit, then you shouldn’t have it!”_  

\-------------------- 

 _“What if somebody had died today? Different story, right? Because that’s on you. And if you die, I feel like that’s on me.”_  

\-------------------- 

 _“You have a metal arm? That is awesome dude!”_  

\-------------------- 

 _“Mr. Stark?_  

 _I don’t feel so good.”_  

 _“You’re alright...”_  

 _“I don’t know- I don’t know what’s happening._  

 _I don’t_ _wanna_ _go- I don’t_ _wanna_ _go._  

 _Sir please, please, I don’t_ _wanna_ _go._  

 _I don’t_ _wanna_ _go._  

 _I’m sorry.”_  

\-------------------- 

Asset shot up from the floor, his head was still ringing. No- he wasn’t Asset, he wasn’t Asset. He fought with himself, trying to remember his name, because he wasn’t Asset. A part of him kept saying that he was Asset but that was false. 

The men here, had tried to convince him that the Avengers had tortured him. It almost worked, almost. But, from his memories, Mr. Captain America sir, had blue eyes, not brown. The people here, had made a mistake. They had gotten Mr. Captain America’s sirs eye color wrong. 

The bolts pierced his neck, and fried his brain, but he still staggered over to the steel door. The bolts got stronger, but so did his will. He had been lied to, and he just wanted to know the truth, he just wanted to know himself. 

He backed up from the door, all the way to the back of the room, and took a deep breath in, glaring at the door. The bolts got stronger, but that didn’t bother him. 

His first steps were shaky, but then he took three long, strong, strides to the door. And with all the force he could muster, he shoved himself against the door, his shoulder leading the way. 

The door easily fell down, and he stumbled to his feet. He was free. And even though the air out here was the same air as in there, he took a deep breath, enjoying the ‘fresh’ air. 

He took down the hallway, taking out any men in his way, killing them if he had to. At some point, the buzzing stopped, and he ripped the collar off of his neck, sucking in a deep breath. He was totally focused now, the screams were gone, his mind was at ease. 

He followed his ears, to the man’s door, the man who had been crying. He grasped the knob firmly and tore the door open. 

The man, who was strangely familiar, quickly shot up. His mouth dropped when he noticed that Not-Asset had torn his door open. 

“Peter?” 

Yes, that was his name. 

Peter. He was Peter.  

Peter Stark. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that the chapter was shorter than what I usually make them :(


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope sleeps without me  
> Her sweet dreams surround me,  
> But I'm left out  
> I'll need a fix now  
> To believe, to feel  
> These rooms are dark now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who reads this! It really means a lot to me!  
> By the way, I'm sorry for any spelling errors, I rushed this one!

_{Chapter 11}_  

 _He shivered from the cold, wrapping his arms around himself. He knew that he didn’t fare well in the cold,_ _but he just wanted to be outside in the moment. Everything was quiet, like the city had stopped to take a break._  

 _He closed his eyes, and let the cool wind_ _tickle_ _him. He just wanted to be carried away, swept away like the snowflakes. Maybe that’s why he likes being Spider-man so much, because he yearns to be free. Maybe it’s because he feels stronger when he can look down at the people from up above?_  

 _He extended his hand, reaching out for the stars. His gaze was lost in the sea of stars, which drew him into their comfort._  

 _Something moved in him, told him that this was his city. And he would protect it with his life. Perhaps Uncle Ben was one of those stars, guiding the angels to their rest. Perhaps every fallen soul becomes a star, even in death, desperate to do something_ _, to light up something._  

 _He smirked, his eyes held their usual glint in them. But that was all covered by_ _the_ _mask and suit that_ _covered him. His fingers tingled, and he stood up._  

 _Looking down at the city,_ **_his_ ** _city, he could see every innocent soul, and every lost soul. And it’s his job to help the lost ones find their way to the light. He doesn’t have to, he knows that, he could just live a normal life. But he couldn’t abandon the people like that, because when he can help, but he doesn’t, then it’s his fault for the bad stuff._  

 _Bucky came up, stood beside him, the wind swayed between them. Both of them held their silence, because words couldn’t describe everything. They were both thinking the same thing, they had to be prepared for whatever comes next. But the people also need to know that they’re not alone, there is always hope. Because that’s what heroes do, they don’t give up, ever._  

 _Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder, silent comfort. He smiled, glad to be reminded that he’s not alone. But that’s not what worried him anymore, because he wouldn’t be alone anymore. The people had to know, that Earth could be beaten up, cracked,_ _bruised_ _, but would never shatter. The people had to know that this wasn’t the end._  

 _Bucky let go, taking a few steps back from him. Because Bucky knew what he was going to do, and Bucky knew that he wouldn’t give up. He wanted to give people hope, that new days will come, and Earth will rise again_ _, like it always does._  

 _He took a few steps forward, which turned into runs. And then he jumped. He jumped off the roof. The ground sped towards him at a fast pace, his heart beat sped up. A scream tore past his lips, floated through the air._  

 _At the last second, he shot out a web, clinging to the tall buildings that covered his city. He swung by the people, shooting through the air._  

 _He kept his screams up, they were not horror screams, they were screams of relief, because this was his city. And his city was still strong._  

 _\--------------------------------_  

Peter stumbled backwards, _where was he?_ His eyes flickered over the room, assessing for an enemy or threat. His Spidey senses were screaming at him, to get out of this place. The only thing in the room was Bucky, wait a second- 

“Why are you here? Where is here? What is happening?!” 

Peter watched Bucky sigh, but at the same time, Bucky seemed, relieved? Peter had no clue what was going on, but his brain didn’t want to listen to his commands and tell him what was happening. 

There were a lot of people lying in the hallway that Peter may have just came from. But they were all dead, and one particular thought irked him, _did I kill them?_  

Bucky rushed over to Peter and embraced him in a hug. Peter didn’t know what to do, so he returned the hug, it’s normal because he hugs Buck all the time, but this was different. Bucky hugged him, like it was going to be his last hug. 

Bucky ruffled Peter’s hair, before putting a finger to his lips, signaling Peter to be quiet. Peter nodded, even though it annoyed him that he wasn’t finding anything out. 

Bucky creeped out into the hallway, trying to figure out which direction the Hydra soldiers were coming from. He strained his ears and figured out that they were approaching quickly from the left. 

Bucky glanced around the hallway, before finding a vent on their right side. He motioned for Peter to follow him, and he quickly ran under the vent. 

Bucky jumped up, latching onto the vent, which unhinged due to his weight. He motioned for Peter to get closer, so that he could boost him up. But Peter, being the stubborn- self sacrificial person he was, shook his head, motioning for Bucky to go up. 

Bucky dragged a hand down his face and pulled himself up into the vent, by now, the Hydra soldiers were nearing them quickly. He extended his hand to Peter, who took it, and pulled him up. 

Bucky began crawling away, to the right, but Peter took a few seconds to make sure the vent looked like it wasn’t open. It would throw the Hydra soldiers off, but Peter didn’t know that, he doesn’t remember anything. 

They both began crawling through the vents, trying to make as little noise as possible, which was very hard. But if they make too much noise, then surely the others will hear them and find them. 

Every turn took them someplace new, and it was obvious that neither of them had a plan, or an idea of where they were going. They were lost. 

But, after crawling for some time, a breeze graced them. And a breeze meant that they were close to an exit. Bucky sighed again, filled with relief, and Peter just watched with curious eyes. Peter didn’t understand the threat, but his Spidey senses were still going off. 

They followed the breeze, hoping that it wasn’t just a fan. And they were right, it was an exit. It was that easy, they escaped just like that. 

Bucky ripped open the vent, and crawled a bit forward, trying to get a glance outside. But he didn’t get a glance, he got a full view, as he fell out of the vent. Peter gasped, and literally threw himself out after Bucky.  

Neither of them was expecting to be greeted by snow, but that’s exactly what they were greeted with. A face full of snow. 

Where were they? 


	13. Big Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big oof  
> But not the last oof  
> More oof's to come

~~I'm just going to make this short.~~  
~~I'm not updating this anymore :(~~  
~~And I'm not going to make any dumb excuses,~~  
~~*Cue dumb excuses*~~  
~~I just started hating this story. The more and more that I re-read it, the worse it sounded in my head. My writing wasn't changing, it wasn't improving. This story had a nice plot, but it didn't work with me. I wasn't really getting into what this could really be. I was trying to work my own style into it, and it wasn't working out. Some stories were meant to be, others, are not. I'm not giving up as a writer, but I'm leaving this story behind. This wouldn't be the first time that I've left a story un-finished. But I couldn't keep writing this. And I kept trying to make it better, but I was missing the mark.~~  
~~However,~~  
~~I'm still writing, and I'll be publishing a new story tomorrow. I know, it might sound like I'm an un-committed person, but for some reason, I feel like things are gonna get better from here.~~  
~~Anyways, I'm going to leave a quick description of my new story:~~

 ~~Title: Keeping up with the Stark's~~  
~~description: Takes place after Infinity war. The story won't have a set plot. It'll kind of just be about moments between Peter and Tony. It'll show how they change after Infinity War. It'll have fluffy parts, and dark parts. Ex: A few chapters about how Peter gets PTSD and Tony helps him. A few chapters about Tony being an over-protective dad. So it'll kind of just show moments between the two. Some chapters will be short, otherwise will carry on longer. This way, I don't have to freak out about update schedules. It'll still be a story, it just won't have a super complex plot.~~  
~~Feel free to check that out tomorrow~~

~~This story will still be left here, and maybe I'll come back to it in the future~~

~~Thanks for sticking around till the end~~  
~~:)~~

 

 

**I'm back bitches  
**

 

**I'm just editing previous chapters before I continue**

 

 

**New chapter up tomorrow**


	14. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hear me Father when I call Thee  
> Keep me safe with Thee tonight  
> Safe inside these walls of glory  
> Help me see the morning light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fingers hurt
> 
>  
> 
> im hungry
> 
>  
> 
> also i didn't edit it, i just posted it  
> ignore random spelling awards

{Chapter 12}

Asset gasped, lifting his head from the snow. It immediately sent tremors down his spine, he wanted to be back in the warm. His arms and legs tingled, giving his a weird sensation. He didn't like it. It was like the weather even wanted him to suffer. Perhaps it would've been better if he was a good asset. Maybe then he wouldn't be in the snow, and he'd be in the warmth.

_God no, what was he thinking. A good Asset? He's Peter!!!!_

Peter found his brain in a war, part of him slipping back into his new being, the other part of him, wanted to hold Mr. Stark. He missed Mr. Stark, he missed everyone. But he couldn't remember everything, like someone had stolen some memories from him. It left him with an empty space in his heart.

Bucky heaved through the snow, his heart beating faster than ever before. He quickly grabbed Peter and pulled him to his feet. His metal arm was cold, it didn't comfort Peter, not like it used to. Something was wrong, very wrong. Asset felt the bad side of him winning over.

He pushed Bucky away, watching him stumble back into the snow. He couldn't do this, he was a good Asset, but he cared for Bucky. He backed up, keeping his eyes on Bucky. The man looked so frail, he could never see him as the Winter Soldier. He could only see him as broken, and tired.

His brain screamed at him to attack, but he withheld the feelings and remained rooted to his spot in the snow. A siren started blasting around him, it bothered his ears. He hissed, his hands flying up to cover his ears. Bucky's eyes went wide, and he swore under his breath. He dashed for Asset, but Asset was faster, and he tore off into the clearing.

He wanted to be with Bucky, but not only was he Asset, but he was dangerous. He could never be safe, Bucky would never be safe with him. He was a **_monster_** now, someone that you tell your kids to stay away from. Bucky needed to stay away, or he was gonna get hurt, Asset was going to hurt him. Asset couldn't think clearly, the bad people convinced him to do bad things, they can convince him to do worse.

He ignored Bucky's calls for him, his pleas, his cries. Because if he went back, then it would be an endless cycle, harming Bucky over and over. He was good, or he wanted to be good, which meant that he couldn't let any harm fall to Bucky. He sucked in a breath, and slowed his pace as he approached the big building. It was more intimidating than he remembers.

"Peter! Peter please!"

A heaving Bucky arrived behind him, _oh yeah_ , Asset remembers, _he's enhanced, he can keep up with me._ That made this a lot harder for him, he didn't turn around. He listened very closely to the people around him. There were many people with guns coming, running his way, he was nervous, but he shouldn't feel anything.

A metal hand came to rest on his shoulder, a scream shook the air. It took a few seconds to realize he was screaming, a few more to flip Bucky over, crushing his metal arm. Bucky let out a cry and swiped at Asset's legs, Asset jumped back and threw a messy punch, Bucky caught it.

 "Убей его! Убей его сейчас же! ( Kill him! Kill him now! )"

The voice echoed through his head, his body started moving and he didn't like it. He didn't want to hurt anybody, he wanted to be normal. He couldn't do this, He couldn't. He let Bucky flip him over, and he lay in the snow. Bucky peered at him, watching the internal battle unfold in Asset.

He got up, knowing that lying there wouldn't change anything. His fighting became sloppy, Peter was fighting to be free. Peter couldn't hurt Bucky. After all, Peter had always wanted a brother.

"Вранье ( _Lies)_ "

The voice rang above everything, it was being transmitted throughout the entire place. Asset's stomach felt nauseous, the words, the words, the words. He didn't like it. He didn't want them to say it. The words made everything fuzzy, and out of his control. He couldn't let it happen.

"Обязанность ( _Responsibility)_ "

He gasped, feeling his heart pound louder and louder. He had to find a way to stop it, but he was frozen to his spot. He noticed Bucky fighting some guards, he wanted to help, but he couldn't feel anything. He could tell Bucky was yelling something, maybe at him, but it was impossible for him to hear clearly.

"Один ( _One)_ "

His stomach dropped, and then nothing. He felt nothing, everything was blurry and fuzzy. His hands stopped shaking, he swayed in his spot. He felt a few tears drop down his cheeks, but he couldn't remember why, he couldn't remember anything. What was his name again?

"Выпускник ( _Graduate)_ "

Emptiness, was that an emotion? Did he have emotions? He faintly heard something in the clouds, maybe a rocket ship, he wanted to see the stars one last time.

"Человечество ( _Humanity)_  

Баланс ( _Balance)_  

шестьдесят два ( _Sixty-Two)_  

Безвредный ( _Innocuous)_  

Главная ( _Home)_ "

One more word, one more word, one. He felt himself slip, everything went black. He was ready for orders, ready to kill. He couldn't remember anything, but that he had a mission to complete. But the one word never came, and he was stuck in the darkness. But why didn't the word come?

_**"DON'T TOUCH MY KID!!!"** _

His eyes rolled back into his head, his knees gave way. He crumpled like a broken toy. Because he was broken without orders, he was broken because they never finished. Everything sounded faint, like it was far away, instead of right near him. He wondered what was happening, but he couldn't tell. He just wanted everything to end, to be done, so he could breathe.

Something picked him up, it was hard and cold, like Bucky's arm, but on someone's hold body. A robot? He exhaled shakily, finding himself increasingly tired, finding harder to stay afloat. It looked so much better in the darkness, where he couldn't feel a thing, where he was free.

"I got you kid. It'll be OK. You'll be OK."

And with that, Asset slipped away. Feeling safer than ever.
    
    
      
    
    
    
      
    


End file.
